By Melissa Wert, a grateful mom
I snapped this photo moments before Nick took Ryan back into the OR, and held his little hands while his 31″, 27lb body went stiff and he succumbed to the anesthesia gas mask attached to his tiny face.
The patient advocate at Connecticut Children’s was nice enough to smear the mask with grape Chapstick, so that Ryan couldn’t smell the strong gas. It’s amazing what tiny details bring you great comfort when the entire situation feels totally out of your control. This is the face of a small boy who has no idea what’s happening, just that his day isn’t right. No eating. No milk. Anxious parents. A strange place filled with so many strangers, all looking at him.
This is the face of a dad about to bring his baby boy into surgery. Terrified but resilient, counting on the prayer we said in the car as we parked, taking every extra moment we had to not walk inside. Please keep our boy safe. Let him come out stronger, healthier, better.
His procedure was minor, but our fears were large. I’m coming to realize that as NICU parents, the feeling of having your baby whisked away from you with no idea what’s happening next returns to you all too easily. Too quickly. And likely unnecessarily. But it’s always there – the fear. The anxiety. The heartache. It shapes how you parent and who you are as parents. But it also makes you strong. Brave. Willful.
I’m happy to report we’re all back home and little Ryan is happy as a clam, back to his normal self, but with some sparkly new ear tubes we’ve dubbed his “robo-ears”. Thank you, so much, to everyone who prayed for us and sent us your well wishes. They worked. And an even bigger thank you to the amazing staff at Connecticut Children’s Medical Center for taking such good care of all three of us. #BabyLove #DontForgetDads